Real Reviews
Honesty + Sarcasm +
A General Misunderstanding of Most Things
Reviews by Category
Apparel
You’re very ugly.
Ok, sorry, I probably could have skipped that part. The point is—yes I was going somewhere with that—that if you get the right clothes you won’t look so… ugly. Oops. Alright, guess we can’t skip that part. Click here, ugly.
Gaming
Reality sucks and you should keep your exposure to it minimal. Video games are the key to this and the best chance you have at pretending you’re happy.
But how can your clueless self ever hope to know what to buy? By clicking on that stupid icon, stupid.
Household
Only you, possessing the vaccuum of intelligence that you do, could be doing a bad job of buying day-to-day groceries. Staring at 12 brands of pasta like you stand a chance of making the right choice. It’s sad that you need help with this but you definitely do.
We Provide The Realest Product Reviews
This is not a place where we pretend everything doesn’t at least a little bit. Tongs, computer chairs, 20-foot iPhone chargers, them stupid LED lights everyone puts behind their TV—we buy junk all the time. No shame in it. But if you are going to read a review, it’s better if that review doesn’t pretend junk isn’t junk.
Sifting through the trash, as it were, patiently and diligently measuring our displeasure.
The Good, or the bad. Sometimes the most important “feature” is how it will drive you crazy, so you can avoid that.
We don’t just review, we tell you why the new spout on the dish soap bottle is life changing.
Existing reviews, from random people on Amazon or pros, are insightful and great to make fun of.
As often as we can we put products through unreasonable tests so you at what point it inevitably fails.