J. Stupid
In this Review
The dumbest delicacies your Prime membership can get you.
Amazon is a staggering ocean of retail, which begs the question: What will you find in the darkest and weirdest corners of their vast offering?
Well for one thing, you find some pretty funny shit.
Wacky Waving Inflatable Arm-Flailing Tube Man
You read that right. For a very reasonable $100-$200, you can place your very own arm-flailing marketing gimick in front of your business or home. Or, hilariously, maybe in front of your grandma’s house, or in front of your most no-nonsense friend’s house. You get the idea. Feed your most thoughtless impulses with this easy-to-regret purchase.
Possum Meme Throw Pillow
Perhaps the item with the most potential on this list, this is a great gift and overall creative masterpiece. Many of the comments actually heap praise on this cursed pillow for it’s material quality, of all things, which is objectively hilarious. Also, don’t miss out on the top-tier unhinged nonsense in the Amazon description. 10 out of 10. All hail the magic possum race.
An Entire, Actual House
Welcome to the future, where you can buy a house on a website and have it delivered to you.
Seriously, they just let you buy this thing and deliver it to you. The American dream.
Shart Survival Kit
This one speak for itself, and is perhaps the most practical item on this list. It comes with wipes—which are pretty damn valuable—tissues, and disposable underwear. There is also a commemorative badge for survivors of such a tragic event. Highly recommended.
Pizza Blanket
Outwardly loving pizza and really owning that as a personality trait has become a bit of a meme over the years, and yes there are many who would get a kick out of a pizza blanket. But, pizza is much better as pizza, not a fucking blanket. Give it to someone who likes ugly things.
Shark with Legs
Honestly, look at that facial expression. He looks uncomfortable. Which is both realistic and hilarious. This may in fact be an accurate representation of how a shark would feel if it sprouted legs. There is also a duck version that appears much more comfortable with it’s fictional limbs.
Who buys all this dumb shit? How many shart survivors are out there thanks to Amazon? Is it bullshit that you can pay Amazon $65,000 for a house and not get free shipping?
Let us know your thoughts on these important questions, or how the magic of the possum pillow has changed your life, in the comments below.
